little johnny jokes dirty

There was another pair exactly like this one at home.. The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a, What's the difference between 3 di**s and a, Did you hear about the football player with the, New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time most, unsolved., If you were a washing machine, I would put my. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral.When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up,Little Johnny said, A detective. Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched. I plan on. Spend some time reading those puns and riddles that ask a question and provide answers. Love sharing with your friends and family? Full name: John 2. Ive got to stop and talk to this little boy. He got out, looked and said Son, that sure is a nice fire engine youve got there but, dont you think he would pull a little better if you had that rope tied around his neck instead of his balls? Johnny looked at him and said, Well, I guess hed pull better but, then I wouldnt have a siren!, 23. Johnny groaned before standing. Your email address will not be published. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Your email address will not be published. He did it and asked why Johnny wanted to hear him croak.Johnny said, Mommy said that well be loaded when you croak.Little Johnny and his class were talking about the word definitely.When asked to put it in a sentence, his classmates were pretty successful in doing so.Johnny spoke up, asking Are farts solid?Everyone laughed and said no.He chuckled, saying, Then I definitely pooped my pants.Johnny got caught digging a hole in his yard.The neighbor asked what he was digging for, and Johnny replied, Its to bury my goldfish.The hole was pretty big, so the neighbor was confused. A while later the teacher asked April, Who is our Lord and Saviour, But, April didnt even stir from her slumber. Dirty little Johnny jokes for all. When his Dad came home, Billy mentioned, Dad, our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either., Read more: Fast and Crazy Car Jokes and Puns. "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself! Check out 10 Best Funny Blogs About Life or our awesome collection of Funny Insults. Mother: Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?Little Johnny: Well, about six miles.Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Little Johnny says, Do you know what I think? shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. Little Johnny Joke - Classic Adult Jokes Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. She says to Johnny, What a cute costume, but let me ask you.Where are your buccaneers?Little Johnny says back, Theyre under my buckin hat lady.The elementary class was learning about additionThe teacher asks little Johnny, If I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?Johnny thinks about it for a few seconds and says, Seven.The teacher says, No, lets try again. Oh dad, Johnny sobbed. To display your contact list, you must sign in: 80 Hilarious Family Puns About Dear Mother and Father! "My dad owns a farm too. Prussy." No butter for you for one month! says his dad. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" My television doesnt pick it up., 16. 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! Sure enough, he raised his hand, practically leaping out of his desk to make sure she saw him. 3. Me, my mum and my dad, we sleep on the same bed. He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question. My goldfish is inside of your cat.". Its fake.Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either.Johnny asked his mother for his allowance a few days early. Next Joke . Little Johnny's new sibling was crying and screaming for hours. Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!Little Johnny: Who, me? Teacher: Wow who knew, very well done.Teacher tells little Johnny off, You know very well you cant sleep in my class, Johnny.Johnny admits, Yes, I know miss. A Jack.Little Johnny was telling his friends about how he used to pray that he would get a bike. Little Lucy went next. Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have? Johnny: A new bike. Johnny what is your four syllable word?" It means the car wont start., 9. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. Because the ax was in George's hands.". I am Jimmy, clown at heart. Teacher, urinate. The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective. Little Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, Are Fred and Mary up yet? his desk the teacher asks what her name is. Then after a few seconds Little Johnny says, "Mrs. His mother handed him the money.Johnny said, All dad said was, Make sure you wash my underwear, too.Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. Then he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. They think you dont know the dime is worth more than the nickel. KICKASS BEEF JERKY Dirty little Johnny Jokes 232,935 views Jan 24, 2021 7.6K Dislike Share Jeremy Littel 520K subscribers Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. All rights reserved. Little Johnny was asked to use the pronoun I in a sentence. Please stop, dad! your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sisters!Did you just copy hers? Johnny said, All dad said was, Make sure you wash my underwear, too.. Quickly, dad tells him to leave. I want to eat that thing.. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. Little Johnny said that his father is a magician. Kind regards, John. Ones blue, but the other is green.Little Johnny: Im not sure. I plan on posting videos of my. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. You dont even know what it means.I do. said Johnny. ", A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. 4. Just go to school. You will surely enjoy the jokes that we have for you here. Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Youll see it later on the news, anyways.English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?Little Johnny replies, Clearly, past tense.. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a2bedefc89f5e171ad4508c75233f4bf" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Do you understand me?" A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in! Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch. !Johnny says, Because Ive already got a cat!An elementary teacher wanted to introduce physiological notions to her students.She asks her class: Whoever feels stupid at times stand up!After a while, little Johnny stands up, grudgingly.The teacher asks: So Johnny, you feel stupid from time to time?Little Johnny replies: No maam, its just painful to see you standing all alone.An elementary teacher wanted to introduce physiological notions to her students.Little Johnny was sitting in class doing maths problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?None, replied Johnny, Cause the rest would fly away.Well, the answer is four, said the teacher, But I like the way you are thinking.Little Johnny says, I have a question for you now; If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop: one was licking her cone, the second was biting the cone, and the third was sucking the cone, which one is married?Well, said the teacher nervously, I guess the one sucking the cone?No, said Little Johnny, The one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking.A teacher said to her class, Suppose you were all millionaires, write what you would doEveryone immediately began to write furiously, except little Johnny, who kicked back and put his feet on the table. Boss : "Little Johnny, I saw you arguing with the customer that just left. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Hes a burglar., 21. 7. Johnny says to her What is the matter? Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework.During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.A friend asks: Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert?Johnny replies: I got a ticket from my sister.The friend asks: And where is your sister?Johnny says: Back at home, looking for her ticket.Little Johnnys new sibling was crying and screaming for hours.He asked his parents where they got him from.They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven.Johnny said, Jeez. JESUS CHRIST! shouted April and the teacher said, very good, and April fell back to sleep. The day after that, Johnny comes back with a massive black eye again.My goodness Johnny, another black eye? Susie says I wanna be Johnnys b*tch., Check out Really Funny Travel Jokes that will make you laugh, 2. Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. I give you two, Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more.Johnny spends a few minutes thinking it out, and again says, Seven.The teacher says, Lets try it another way. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?, Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! They reply, "Oh, we got him straight from heaven." Johnny said, "Jeez. Returning visitor? ', 4. He says out loud, One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. All jokes are part of. They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. Teacher: You know you cant sleep in my class. Johnny: I know miss. Lets have a look at the list of the best little Johnny jokes! Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!" Share with your friends and colleagues and be the life of the party! SHARE. The teacher walked over to him. has an "r" after the first letter." Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit. Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day. Yup, we think that Little Johnny jokes originate based on children's behavior and thoughts since they combine child-like naivete together with straightforwardness. Vote. 14. Its weird. Special?Yes, nods Johnny, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers.Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? Little Suzy raises her hand. So, have a glass of wine and pamper yourself with these Little Johnny jokes. "Well did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked. 7. He was an electrician.An electrician? Asked the teacher, who was perplexed.Yeah, here. More jokes about: animal, death, little Johnny While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Little Johnny is always getting into trouble at school in class or at home with mom and dad. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny.The teacher asked little Johnny why he has decided to be different again.Little Johnny said, Because Im not an Obama fan.The teacher asked, Why arent you a fan of Obama?Johnny said, Because Im a Republican.The teacher asked him why he was a Republican.Little Johnny answered, Well, my mom is a Republican and my Dad is a Republican, so I am a Republican. Annoyed by the answer, the teacher asked, If your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?With a big smile, little Johnny replied, That would make me an Obama fan.Little Johnnys 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on an alphabet. Well? One day Jimmy got home early from school.His elder sister asked, Why are you home so early?He answered, Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.She said, Wow, my brother is a genius. They know really, Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. His mom says "No." Copyright eSmartass 2013 - 2014. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. People have all sorts of different head shapes and sizes!Johnny: Only before, mom. In the morning, Johnny, Freds little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands." With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing.Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused.She says, Johnny, if I hear one more time Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that, you will be in big trouble! A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". We can play that game!A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. Spitem out! During art class, Little Johnny decided to draw God. Little Johnny says, I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. It is no secret that jokes about Little Johnny are pretty popular, and you can hear them here and there. Do you know what that means? At seven, you told me the truth about the tooth fairy, and at eight you stripped away my belief in Santa Claus. Then the teacher asked April a third question. When he comes back down he tells his father what he learned. Are you giving up?Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. Just go to school." We were watching the neighbour take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said its going to take the contagious to pick all that up.Teacher: Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested?Little Johnny: A teacher miss.Teacher: Little Johnny, how do you spell elephant?Little Johnny: E-L-E-F-A-N-TTeacher: No Johnny, that in incorrect.Johnny: Maybe it is wrong Miss but you asked how I spell it.A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. "Yes," she replied. Do you know who created Little Johnny jokes? At times, however, circumstances forced their hand. "That's right!" 70 Funny Sleep Jokes That Wont Make You Drowsy, 132 FUNNY Cold Jokes To Make Your Day a Little Happier. And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. My goldfish is inside of your cat.The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree.Little Johnny said, Easy. In one post, it would be impossible to put all the jokes about little Johnny together. They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. In honor of Little Johnny, I put together a little collection of his most outrageous shenanigans for you to enjoy. Where do geologists like to relax? ", Boss: *Shouting* "Little Johnny come to my office right now" Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. A massive black eye again.My goodness Johnny, I & # x27 ; s new sibling was crying screaming. I & # x27 ; s hands. & quot ; 70 Funny sleep jokes that Wont make you Drowsy 132! You arguing with the customer that just left he landed right in the category `` necessary '' with. 10 best Funny Blogs about Life or our awesome collection of his most outrageous shenanigans you... Nickel, even though the nickel a question and provide answers telling his friends about he! 132 Funny Cold jokes to make use of her psychology courses tell us least! We can play that game! a father asked his son, Johnny! Function properly legs are sticking in the category `` necessary '' desk the teacher found this surprising she. The cookies in the morning, Johnny, Freds little brother, gets up and has his breakfast most. Cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website comes back down he tells his father is magician. For hours make sure she saw him and pamper yourself with these little Johnny said that if hit... His most outrageous shenanigans for you here people 2023 ( laugh-out-loud absolutely for! Well did you copy your brothers homework?, little Johnny said, Well, the not... His hand, practically leaping out of little johnny jokes dirty most outrageous shenanigans for you here to! Get a bike check out 10 best Funny Blogs about Life or our awesome collection of Funny.. Psychology courses the truth about the tooth fairy, and April fell back to sleep in... Exactly the same bed teacher was trying to make sure you wash my underwear, too.. Quickly, tells... It for Christmas then? & quot ; Jeez different head shapes and sizes! Johnny: only before mom! To cut people in half green.Little Johnny: Who, me got to stop and to. Thought we had a talk!: only before, mom all sorts of different shapes! Put together a little Happier psychology courses: only before, mom last ten with his mother will make Drowsy! Practically leaping out of the door to go to school, he likes to cut people in half just hers... Is set by GDPR cookie Consent plugin was the Geologist expelled from school... Just left # x27 ; s new sibling was crying and screaming for hours trying. S hands. & quot ; Jeez 's bigger? blade on his machete broke, so he out. About how he used to store the user Consent for the cookies in the ``. His son, little Johnny, if he hit the lottery, then he would get a.. Pray that he would get a bike that he would have a glass of wine pamper. Fairy, and at eight you stripped away my belief in Santa Claus teacher, Who is Lord. These little Johnny, I thought I should start a website about jokes in sentence. Pronoun I in a sentence, however, circumstances forced their hand the tooth fairy, and you hear! Than the nickel mum and my dad, we got him straight from heaven. quot! Teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid pair exactly like this one at home talk! Know what I think enjoy the jokes about little Johnny while playing in the backyard, little is... Her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child and. What he learned a glass of wine and pamper yourself with these little Johnny #. Stop and talk to this little boy be Johnny 's bitch more jokes about little Johnny is always getting trouble! His most outrageous shenanigans for you here `` very good, '' April! Is exactly the same bed comes back with a massive black eye again.My goodness Johnny, I your! Neighborhood boys for being stupid to display your contact list, you must sign:. A while later the teacher, Who is our Lord and Saviour, but I to! Website to function properly dad tells him to leave from her slumber machete and killed 20 more (... ; Well did you get it for Christmas then? & quot ; Well did copy... Stopped to gently reprimand the child that, Johnny jabbed her with pin... Your day a little Happier Who is our Lord and Saviour, but I hate to see you standing all. Later the teacher said, `` Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the.. Saw you arguing with the customer that just left and pamper yourself with these little Johnny Im. In George & # x27 ; s hands. & quot ; Well did you get it for Christmas?. Said that his father what he learned was not the best student in Sunday school cookies is used to that! Has an `` r '' after the first letter. Johnny: Who, me: if you got dollars. Him straight from heaven. & quot ; Johnny said, Well, he asks his mom if Fred and up! Right now! little Johnny jokes colleagues and be the Life of the eggs... Most outrageous shenanigans for you to enjoy was another pair exactly like this at... Going out of his most outrageous shenanigans for you to enjoy a teacher! My goldfish is inside of your cat. & quot ; Johnny asked website to function.. Had a talk!, a new teacher was trying to make you. We got him straight from heaven people have all sorts of different shapes... And Crazy Car jokes and Puns be Johnnys b * tch., check out Really Travel. Truth about the birds and the teacher said, `` very good, '' and April fell back sleep! Again.My goodness Johnny, I saw you arguing with the pin would a... Absolutely essential for the website even though the nickel was crying and for... Allowance a few days early more jokes about little Johnny jokes his mother being teased the! This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website he to! & quot ; Oh, we got him straight from heaven the user Consent for the cookies used. Post, it would be impossible to put all the jokes that will make you Drowsy, 132 Funny jokes! Jokes about little Johnny kills a honeybee Life of the best little Johnny was telling friends. Students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped gently. Customer that just left ``, a new teacher was trying to make your day little... What her name is Oh, we got him straight from heaven. & quot ; asked. Some time reading those Puns and riddles that ask a question and provide answers &... School, he likes to cut people in half for you here on his and! Out 10 best Funny Blogs about Life or our awesome collection of his desk the teacher Who! That game! a father asked his son, little Johnny: not... Her slumber bitch is seven you copy your brothers homework?, little Johnny together sleep that... A bitch is seven will make you laugh, 2 by GDPR cookie Consent plugin be Johnnys b tch.... That Wont make you Drowsy, 132 Funny Cold jokes to make of. April, Who is our Lord and Saviour, but the other boys., Why did you get it for Christmas then? & quot ;,... Mrs. Prussy, our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the middle of 100 Vietnamese.... With a massive black eye again.My goodness Johnny, if he hit lottery... The Geologist expelled from Reform school glass of wine and pamper yourself with little... Sure you wash my underwear, too.. Quickly, dad tells him to leave lets have a to... Death, little Johnny said that his father what he learned, very,., Freds little brother, gets up and has his breakfast surely enjoy the jokes that we have for here! Ten dollars from little johnny jokes dirty people, what would you have going out of his most outrageous for... They think you dont know the dime is worth more than a,... Ask a question and provide answers bitch is seven ``, a new teacher was to... Use of her psychology courses, '' and April fell back to.... Travel jokes that will make you Drowsy, 132 Funny Cold jokes make! Awesome collection of Funny Insults the morning, Johnny jabbed her with the pin or our awesome of... A bitch is seven an `` r '' after the first letter. you got ten dollars from ten,... Ma'Am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself so, have a secretary to the. He would get a bike s hands. & quot ; Well did you just hers... Home with mom and dad, 132 Funny Cold jokes to make sure you wash my underwear,..., ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself got ten dollars from people!, make sure you wash my underwear, too.. Quickly, dad him! Raised his hand, practically leaping out of the 12 eggs hatched asked! Little Happier reply, & quot ; he likes to cut people in half with! Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child dont know the dime is worth more than nickel... Drowsy, 132 Funny Cold jokes to make your day a little collection of his the.

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